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Browsing Tag 'twilight'

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part II

Bravely continuing on with the sacrifice of my manhood… 5.  Angel (David Boreanaz), Angel I sum up this selection by referencing Wedding Crashers.  You remember some bratty little kid demands that Vince Vaughn make him a balloon bicycle? And Vince says, “All right, I’m going to make you a bicycle. But I don’t want to […]

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part I

A quick prologue…. I’ve chosen to ignore, and mock, reader suggestion Jackson Rothbone. (Don’t feel bad reader—teasing, I’ve been told, is one of my love languages.) Firstly, because I know many of you love it, I’m willing to forgive vampires in Twilight.  They can’t help it that Stephanie Meyer sold her soul to the devil […]

Season of Sickness

Just as anyone else who works in a school, I’m exposed to all manner of germs. But the bacteria bonfire I face is considerably more potent. I’m tasked with seventh graders. That’s right. Every day, armed with only demerits and a scented expo marker (Chocó-mint. It’s friggin’ sweet), I do battle with hordes of pubescent […]