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Browsing Tag 'movie reviews'

2013 Oscar Best Picture Rankings:  Les Misérables

Welcome to Bradmouthin’ at the Movies long anticipated 2013 Oscar Film Battle Royale! Because you should only waste 56 minutes of work per day browsing the internet, and because I have to review 8 freaking movies while my carpal tunnel rages on, these predictions will be short and sweet. Like Danny DeVito dipped in chocolate. […]

Rotten Tomatoes is Rotten

Much like Magic Eight Balls and the National Enquirer, I have come to place a heavy weight on the information I receive from Rotten Tomatoes. Since the quality of television is somewhere between Smirnoff Ice and the Iranian space program, I’ve recently found myself Red Boxing like a mad man. And the primary place I  […]

Black Swan: A Sharp Wing to the Face

Black Swan in a Sentence: Extremely visceral and disorienting, like if a tearful Snow White sliced her own forearms with tin can tops while the Seven Dwarfs watched and whistled  “Heigh Ho.” Why I Almost Grew Black Wings: The pacing is highly innovative. Darren Aronofsky masterfully uses the first hour to screw with your senses, […]

2 Minute Movie Review: The Town

The Town in a sentence: If Point Break and Heat had a baby, and then that baby drove around in a tank, married a supermodel, won the World Series of Poker and a game of beer pong simultaneously, and trained a Grizzly Bear to sing show tunes all while revitalizing the economy as Mayor of […]