Stolen Diaries: LeBron James

lebron smiling Stolen Diaries: LeBron James


Dear Diary,

Sucks being back in Cleveland. Really hate all this snow and street feces.

Home town or not, Miami is much better than C-Town.

Sure, we don’t win as much as I did in Cleveland, and I’m pretty sure my teammate Chris’s parents are RuPaul and an Avatar, but at least there aren’t as many fans in the crowd when I choke in big games and refuse to take the last shot.

I mean, who wants to take the last shot? Everybody’s watchin’ and stuff.

Just makes me so nervous. All I can do is bite my fingernails and pass the ball away—FAST!

I do miss choreographing those cute dances the boys and me would do after warm-ups.

I made Coach Brown cut our practice down to fifteen minutes so we could all go watch So You Think You Can Dance everyday and try and get some ideas.  Hope that’s not why he got fired. Oh well…

None of my teammates here in Cleveland want to dance. Chris always tries to grind up on me, and Dwayne has trouble moving with that big heavy championship ring on his finger. Glad I’ll never have to deal with that.

Man I love to dance.

Can’t wait to throw the talcum powder up at the scorer’s table before tip-off. I do it much better than Jordan. He may have started it, but I make it look cool and fun. And in the end, it’s all about having a good time.

You think the fans will care if some gets in their face?

I don’t.

Care, that is. They’re lucky I didn’t take my talcum talents to South Beach sooner.

And after all, I AM still the King. King of the fifth place team in the Eastern Conference.  Sounds right.

And man is the weather nice in Miami.

Always treat me awesome,


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