1. Local meteorologists are paid bonuses to interrupt your favorite shows to tell you that it is indeed snowing and, even more shocking, that it is cold outside.
2. Milk and bread buyers transform into crack addicts and will stop at nothing to get their wheat and Vitamin D fix.
3. Every school superintendent has prophetic visions of black ice, overturned school buses, and polar bears tearing small children limb from limb.
4. Amongst teachers and children ages 5-17, the school closing report becomes the most important, life-altering announcement since George Clooney said he was leaving ER.
5. All interstate commuters either engage their hyper-drive or piddle along more slowly than Marlon Brando’s hearse.
6. The Titans aren’t in the playoffs.
7. The Tennessee Department of Transportation makes good on its backroom deal with MAACO Body Shops and dumps enough salt on the roads to annihilate every paint job in Middle Tennessee.
8. With promises of hot chocolate, Snuggies, and a massive amount of audible sedatives, the Nashville Symphony finally manages to lure in patrons
9. Kid Rock sniffs all the snow he can find, despite Sheryl Crow’s pleas that it’s “not that kind of powder.”
10. Around 3:00a.m. and donning only cowboy hats and smiles, Snowmen begin to stumble out of Big Bang.
What signs do you notice?
(Don’t just say it out loud. Go to the comments section.)
Kid Rock,
Kroger,
Nashville,
school closing,
snow,
snowbird
Life's Little Insanities,
Planet Crazy
You left off that every excellent driver becomes brain dead and forgets everything about driving.
It’s called Frost Brain and occurs when driving on ice or snow. Very serious condition. Many believe it can be cured by talking or texting on cell phone. This is a mistake.
LOL! It’s the same thing here in NC. Schools will close at the threat of snow. Actuall snow is optional. :0)
christy
Yes, but will you close because it’s cold and sunny? We will!!!!!
I experience something like this in Florida….
There are interruptions to tell us that it’s raining and teachers and kids eagerly await to hear news that schools are closed because of a hurricane warning.
When it’s sort of cold, like it is now, the news people stop random people on the street to interview them on how well they’re doing in the cold.
“When it’s sort of cold, like it is now, the news people stop random people on the street to interview them on how well they’re doing in the cold.”
Wow. A monument to the ridiculousness of local news.
They used to stop me by the beach and boardwalk for the longest, but I shied away from their reporter and camera. I changed my walking route and now I don’t see them anymore.
You should have told them you were a post-op mermaid. Maybe they would have thought you were crazy and left you alone.
all local weather persons smoke from the same crackpipe and nfloat predictions guaranteed to jack up local ratings, then bemoan the next day the lack of cooperation by the low front, or temps or moisture….or why the hell did they predict snow?
all local weather persons smoke from the same crackpipe and float predictions guaranteed to jack up local ratings, then bemoan the next day the lack of cooperation by the low front, or temps or moisture….or why the hell did they predict snow?
sorry for the double dip, my gerbils didn’t run fast enough and comcastic-xfinity appeared to stall….
xfinity is comcastic. bonus points for post that uses words “crackpipe” and “bemoan” at same time.