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Snowmageddon 11’: 10 Signs It’s Snowing in Nashville

nashville snowy Snowmageddon 11’: 10 Signs It’s Snowing in Nashville1.  Local meteorologists are paid bonuses to interrupt your favorite shows to tell you that it is indeed snowing and, even more shocking, that it is cold outside.

2.  Milk and bread buyers transform into crack addicts and will stop at nothing to get their wheat and Vitamin D fix.

3.  Every school superintendent has prophetic visions of black ice, overturned school buses, and polar bears tearing small children limb from limb.

4.  Amongst teachers and children ages 5-17, the school closing report becomes the most important, life-altering announcement since George Clooney said he was leaving ER.

5.  All interstate commuters either engage their hyper-drive or piddle along more slowly than Marlon Brando’s hearse.

6.  The Titans aren’t in the playoffs.

7.  The Tennessee Department of Transportation makes good on its backroom deal with MAACO Body Shops and dumps enough salt on the roads to annihilate every paint job in Middle Tennessee.

8.  With promises of hot chocolate, Snuggies, and a massive amount of audible sedatives, the Nashville Symphony finally manages to lure in patrons

9.  Kid Rock sniffs all the snow he can find, despite Sheryl Crow’s pleas that it’s “not that kind of powder.”

10.  Around 3:00a.m. and donning only cowboy hats and smiles, Snowmen begin to stumble out of Big Bang.

What signs do you notice?

(Don’t just say it out loud. Go to the comments section.)

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