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Nine Networking No-No's

biz dude1 Nine Networking No NosSo I’m obsessed with networking.

I’m like a hyena on the African plains.  I can smell if you might know someone I’d like to be put in contact with.  Don’t try and hide it.  I saw the damn business card come out of your satchel five minutes earlier.

Attempts at resisting me are more futile than trying to convince professional athletes not to refer to themselves in the third person, or educating anyone on Jersey Shore of the potential negative ramifications of extreme tanning or steroid use.

And, after what has made me feel like Moses wandering the job research desert, I have learned a few bits of conversation that should NEVER come out of your mouth when attempting to get that all important contact information.  If you ever hear any of these words spring from your lips, you should probably run away faster than an NFL running back from a paternity hearing.

9.  “I mean, yeah, it’s a felony in that state.  But I’m pretty sure it’s just a misdemeanor in Louisiana.”

8.  “I can’t believe roofies are illegal.”

7.  “…and so I guess that’s a usage for goats that most people aren’t open-minded enough to accept.”

6.  “No, no, no.  You don’t have to tell every neighbor you’ve moved in.  Just the ones with kids.”

5.  “Do you need an extra key for your hotel room?  I have a few in my bag.”

4.  “My last boss died of natural causes.  Arsenic does come from a plant, right?”

3.  “I received my undergraduate from Ohio State.  Got my Master’s in prison.”

2.  “The ink on my resume?  Pops off the page, doesn’t it.  That’s my blood.”

1.   “I can’t decide if I want to date you or ask for a job.  How about you just pay me to go on a date with you?”

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