A quick prologue…. I’ve chosen to ignore, and mock, reader suggestion Jackson Rothbone. (Don’t feel bad reader—teasing, I’ve been told, is one of my love languages.) Firstly, because I know many of you love it, I’m willing to forgive vampires in Twilight.  They can’t help it that Stephanie Meyer sold her soul to the devil [...]

By Brad White America loves a sucker. No, I’m not talking about Jessica Simpson and chicken of the sea, also known as tuna fish.  And I’m not referencing anyone who truly believes Taylor Swift can sing live.  And I definitely do not mean anyone who thought an alcohol monitor would slow down Lindsay’s party. I’m [...]

Just as anyone else who works in a school, I’m exposed to all manner of germs. But the bacteria bonfire I face is considerably more potent. I’m tasked with seventh graders. That’s right. Every day, armed with only demerits and a scented expo marker (Chocó-mint. It’s friggin’ sweet), I do battle with hordes of pubescent [...]

Michael Jackson is dead. No more dancing on cars outside of courtrooms. No more competitive baby danglin’ in Berlin. No more nose reconstructions so that he can “breathe better.” No more putting on some Barry White, turning down the lights, and curling up with a few attention starved adolescents. Yes, Neverland Ranch is permanently closed. [...]