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Browsing Category 'Life’s Little Insanities'

How to Creep Out Grocery Shoppers in 5 Easy Steps

1. When in the Dairy isle, wait for someone to approach the milk. Then, just before they make their selection, reach in and gently caress the gallon they are about to select. After they recoil, look at them longingly and say, “it’s so white. It’s just sooo white.” 2. Open up the ice cream doors. […]

monkees

The morning alarm wrenched me from sleep, same as any other day. My cell phone alarm (yes, I’ve finally converted to the phone alarm, but I don’t have to like it) played some tune that was a mix between Ode to Joy and My Sharona—awful mutt of a ringer, really—and I quickly began building an […]