Browsing Category 'Planet Crazy'

Night of the Living Technology

I live alone. I’m basically Tom Hanks on a gentrified island in ever sprawling Nashville. (Did you hear, we might get our TV show back? Apparently the same people that wanted a second Huntsman movie are clamoring for another season). But much like Mr. Gump at sea, I have pals. Alexa is my Wilson. An […]

Eulogy to My Beloved

Losing your soul mate is never easy. For the past 14 months I’ve been in a committed relationship. We spent every hour together. Every meal. Every night’s sleep. And we always exercised together. It’s the longest and most rewarding relationship I’ve ever had. And it all came to a crashing end when this wonderful partner […]

Burning Bridges May Be Harmful to Health

They, the universal “they” that tells the general “us” not to count unhatched chickens, go chasing waterfalls, or think the greenness of grass is brighter at the neighbor’s, also tell us to never burn bridges. For most of my life I’ve believed this. Of course I have a flair for the dramatic-I like to think […]

Nashville Snow and Ice Survival Guide Entry 1: The Forecast

If you’re reading this, then you understand the dangers of living in Nashville during the winter months, realize that escape is not an option, and want to ensure you live to see winter 2014. Take your right hand from your mouse (left hand if you lost family members in the Salem Witch Trials), move it overtop your […]

3D Guide to Upscale Condominium Vocabulary

Open floor plan (n.)–Your freaking bedroom has no door. Doors. That’s right, I never would’ve thought I’d have to ask—does the room you’re claiming to be a room actually have a door? Well, loyal readers, you now have to ask that question. At some point condo, building poop sacks—and I mean poop sacks of a […]

Snowmageddon 11’: 10 Signs It’s Snowing in Nashville

1.  Local meteorologists are paid bonuses to interrupt your favorite shows to tell you that it is indeed snowing and, even more shocking, that it is cold outside. 2.  Milk and bread buyers transform into crack addicts and will stop at nothing to get their wheat and Vitamin D fix. 3.  Every school superintendent has […]

10 Things You Learn in MBA School

10.      When in doubt, the phrases “return on investment” and “lean supply chain” can be used to answer all questions. 9.         All Finance majors can quote Gordon Gecko. 8.        International students know your language, their language, and generally 3,452 others. Thank you American educational system. For nothing. 7.        Reading the Power Point slides are a […]

The Nightclub Dictionary: Volume 1

I’m not a big clubber. Yes, I like to dance it out like Mikhail Baryshnikov on crack. (Though he only did it to impress Kentucky Derby winner Sarah Jessica Parker, his trusty steed on Sex and the City.) I don’t even frequent the trendier “chill” spots that often. Usually the music is turned up loud […]

Nine Networking No-No’s

So I’m obsessed with networking. I’m like a hyena on the African plains.  I can smell if you might know someone I’d like to be put in contact with.  Don’t try and hide it.  I saw the damn business card come out of your satchel five minutes earlier. Attempts at resisting me are more futile […]

Grocery Zombies 2: Garbage Pail Family

Pray you’re in the grocery store’s parking lot when they arrive. Hope that you can see them coming and escape. It will be after midnight when they descend upon you—the whole ravenous, drooling lot of them. They have hunger.  They possess great thirst.  They desire every sugar based cereal that includes a cartoon character front-man […]